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Illinois? Indiana? Iowa? Kansas? Nebraska?


The First in a Series of Road Trip posts, warm up for the Sidewind Across America Tour , this one with Mac and Cindy in Indiana, concerning Clear Vision, Drifts toward Ditches, Perils of Vitamins, Abundance and Bad Seed, Inter-state Rivalry, the Miracle of Going Home.

Cindy: Hey, watch it! The ditch!

Mac: It's just the rumble strip.

Cindy: Ok, but you're driving.

Mac: I'm just trying to fix these sunglasses, Cindy. I sat on them, God-damn it. Kim's Christmas present.

Cindy: It's not even sunny out.

Mac: Take your vitamins! They're in that cup.

Cindy: How can I swallow that many? We drank all the Sierra Mist.

Mac: There's a bottle... right... back... here.

Cindy: Geesh! Watch it! Vitamins aren't worth dying for.

Mac: Ok, ok. Just let me....

Cindy: Look how tall that corn is. Where are we anyway?

Mac: Still Indiana. Take the vitamins with a cookie.

Cindy: Gone.

Mac: How could you eat all of them?

Cindy: Delicious. Feels like we're driving all the way out to California!

Mac: This road's a straight shot to Peoria. Except all these shit towns. Can't really open it up.

Cindy: Where's the interstate?

Mac: Look at all this corn.

Cindy: Now that corn there looks too short to me.

Mac: My God! It sure is.

Cindy: Maybe not enough rain.

Mac: Bad seed, I bet.

Cindy: I don't see how they ever harvest all of it. I don't see anyone in the fields.

Mac: Is this Sunday?

Cindy: Maybe they're in church. You want a sip?

Mac: Ok, but I need to get through this shit town first.

Cindy: Nice park. What town is this? This is a nice little town.

Mac: $3.41 per gallon. I think that's the lowest we've seen since Port Jervis.

Cindy: I have some poison ivy on my hand it. It itches.

Mac: 119 miles to Peoria.

Cindy: Welcome to Illinois!

Mac: It's good to be out of that Republican Shit-State.

Cindy: I'm sick of corn.

Mac: Those are soy beans.

Cindy: I don't see any beans.

Mac: Trust me. The beans are in there.

Cindy: I can't wait to get home.

Mac: They can fix the sunglasses in Peoria.

Road Trip Obit # 1

Poor dear deer
Poor raccoon
Poor tabbie
Poor little old dog on his side
Poor deer again, so many
Poor opossum
Poor bird, poor coyote
Poor beautiful red fox

RIP, please.

If you would like to contribute a fish (or reptile) obituary to this blog, please post a comment below with the basics.
Robin McLean also blogs at Mike's Maze.
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