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Tony, The Groundhog, and The Shovel

Tony with beets.


The latest in a series of inventive dialogues, this one between Cousin Rob and Margaret (while Robin is in the bathroom), concerning Farm Yard Pests, Crossroads and Dictatorships.

Margaret: I have to say, I'm really not into this groundhog story.

Rob: Come on, Margaret! People are begging. It's got everything. Drama. Death. A complex inner story.

Margaret: I feel we are at a Crossroad with the blog here.

Rob: So, you want a cotton candy blog?

Margaret: Does shying from murder make me a sell out? Robin was really upset by that shovel business. She thinks it's all her fault, you know, since she told Tony about the hole.

Rob: If we aren't willing to live-on-the-edge for this blog, Robin will definitely chicken out. You should see her cuticles.

Margaret: Yeah, but that groundhog was so cute.

Rob: That's part of the pain of it. That's why people read.

Margaret: It was just living quietly in the tomatoes. What kind of message will we be sending? Traps? Bait? That .22?

Rob: I totally see your point. I don't want to silence you or anything.

Margaret: And Tony looks so gentle, such a good old guy.

Rob: But for Tony it's about Good and Evil. Good Guys have to murder all the time these days.

Margaret: He said he'd just "drive" the groundhog "out of town." I smell a pack of lies.

Rob: Those have a Have-A-Heart traps are so unreliable.

Margaret: Let's just not mention the shovel, ok? Throw me a bone here. No one wants decapitations.

Rob: It's pretty much Chick-lit without the shovel.

Margaret: I hate when you get all literary-snobbish on me. Uh oh, I heard the toilet flush.

Rob: We have to make a decision right now.

Margaret: Right now? Are we morphing now into dictatorship? I thought Fish Obits was about collaboration mixed with diversity and Freedom of Expression?

Tony and the Groundhog

The hole was in the tomato patch
The trap was Have-a-Heart
He might have used a .22
He might have cooked it in his pot
There were no shovels in the barn
Some farm kids must have stolen
all of them.

The sun was shining!

He died fat (years later)
a big green field far from town.


If you would like to contribute a fish (or reptile) obituary to this blog, please jump over to my contact page or write a comment below with the basics.

Robin McLean also blogs at Mike's Maze.

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