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FISH OBITUARIES:an anti-bloggers's blog

BACKSEAT DISPATCH: WiFi AT 60 MILES PER HOUR

Illinois? Indiana? Iowa? Kansas? Nebraska?


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The First in a Series of Road Trip posts, warm up for the Sidewind Across America Tour , this one with Mac and Cindy in Indiana, concerning Clear Vision, Drifts toward Ditches, Perils of Vitamins, Abundance and Bad Seed, Inter-state Rivalry, the Miracle of Going Home.

Cindy: Hey, watch it! The ditch!

Mac: It's just the rumble strip.

Cindy: Ok, but you're driving.

Mac: I'm just trying to fix these sunglasses, Cindy. I sat on them, God-damn it. Kim's Christmas present.

Cindy: It's not even sunny out. Read More 
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SASHA: TUMBLE DRY KITTY / CAT OBIT #1

Poor Poor Sasha


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The First in a Series of Cat Obits by Secret Guest Blogger, Kate C (who is looking for a scintillating pen name) concerning Inner Turmoil, Procrastination, Feline Under-Representation in the Blogosphere, Barn Yard Hanky-Panky, the Omnipresence of Death, and the Perils of Napping in Laundry.

Hi Robin,
We met during your second class on blogging (my first) at Grub Street and I understand that you are conflicted about blogging; I am here to support you in any way I can. I too have reservations about this whole thing so I thought I’d take you up on your kind invitation be a guest on your blog page so I can continue to engage with my inner turmoil a little longer; but even more importantly, so I can put off learning the actual mechanics of setting up my own blog for at least another week. But once I create one I will be totally asking you to add a link to my new blog page to this post.

So anyway, after reading your blog and ruminating about it, what I have concluded is that you need more posts about cats.  Read More 
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THE DEVIL TALKS BACK

LUCIFER with FIDDLE


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The first in as series of posts by Lucifer, this one Talking Back to the angelic ANTI-BLOGGER'S MANIFESTO, on Accepting Desire for Fame and Fortune, Hyper-Linking as Internet Survival, and Unexpected Hook-ups, by a familiar contributor, Cousin Rob.

Oh, you're just hiding behind your desire for worldwide fame, global recognition. Here's the key to google status: links. Foist of awl, I wanna know you. And you are who/what you link to. So with that in mind, a parabola. Or a parapet. A pair of bulls:

I did a secret blog once, called Satan's Secrets. I did this to gain notoriety as an anonymous blogger who was shaking things up. The devilishly clever plan was to link to other people's blogs, click on those links, make reference to those blogs in my own blog, and assume that the authors would eventually find their way to me. Took a couple weeks, but then it worked. (Things fell apart when a guy who was using my computer inadvertently realized who my alter-ego was. And I became concerned that another guy I knew thought I was a girl and I was worried he might be beginning to chat me up.)

Moral of my story,  Read More 
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AN ANTI-BLOGGER'S MANIFESTO


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Open Letter: An Anti-Bloggers Manifesto Blog-List. Thanks to Becky Tuch and the Grubstreet Blogging class for their backing on this one.

Blogging is democratic, economically fair, a powerful tool for social and political change, a way to make intellectual and artistic connections, and today I learned it is a way to improve exercise habits. Despite all this, I do not want to blog. And despite not wanting to blog, I'm blogging anyway. At least for a while. Here's why:

1. The world is going on-line. The world does not look each other in the eye anymore. We look each other in the eye online now. I am blogging to look you in the eye. To shake hands through pixels. Read More 
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DROWNING IN THE GOOGLE SEA

Sea of Fish Obits


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The First in a series of Emergency Meetings of the Fish Obits Staff (Cousin Rob, as well as Margaret and Robin) concerning disappointing Google Ratings, The Big Picture, Digital Slavery, Sex and Home-Makeovers, the Omnipresence of Death and Second-Fiddle to the Many.


Rob: ....yeah, I know we have a great blog, but in this world QUALITY is so often overlooked. People want sex and home-makeovers.

Margaret: Then maybe we do some home-makeovers. Swim with the current, with an eye, always, on the Big Picture.

Rob: Are you suggesting we lower our standards? Read More 
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FAMILY BIZ #1 / Fish Obits Editor Appears in Baltimore Sun

Wedding Night / Uncle Bob (Rob's dad) and Aunt Ursie (Glam-girl).

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In the first of series of Brush with Greatness posts, a link to a post in today's Baltimore Sun by Cousin Rob McLean(cousin) -- an (imagined) Fish Obits editor -- concerning ALS, Social Media, Lost Fathers, Pain Held Close, Movie Stardom, and Provocation by the Digital Age.

Read Rob's Baltimore Sun post HERE.

Go, Rob. We are so proud of you!


If you would like to contribute a fish (or reptile) obituary to this blog, please post a comment below, OR email us at fishobituaries@gmail.com, OR BETTER YET, go to my CONTACT PAGE. Don't forget to filling the ANTI-ROBOT window at the bottom of the window or else I will NOT get your message. And I want to get it very much!

Robin McLean also blogs at Mike's Maze.
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You - Fish:

The Spawn -- Alaska / Photo by John Vinduska

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A Fresh Fish Obit by Guest Blogger and Novelist
Kara Lindstrom (also at Sparkle Life, her first novel) concerning Rule-Making as Self-Deception, the Hierarchy of the Beasts, Useless Analogies, RSVPs, Grief, Second-Thoughts, and Apologies.


Writing a fish obituary forces me to rethink one of my food rules: Do not eat what you can’t kill yourself. Well, I’ve done it, kill you – fish -- so I can eat you. Can’t kill a cow. A chicken, either. Well, this is stupid. Rules are there to stop you from doing things that you’re able to do, not allow for them. I mean it’s easy for Pay-Day Cash to charge a gazillion percent interest. Doesn’t mean it should be in the rulebook – go ahead, charge away, it’s easy! So, all this time, I’ve been eating you – fish -- proud as shit of my credo. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Writing an obit, it turns out, is heavy. Rethinking gets to the meat of it all.  Read More 
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Lance: Swim to the Front of the Run


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The First in a Series of Self-Interviews of and by the Editors Fish Obituaries (Cousin Rob, as well as Margaret and Robin) concerning the first three months of Blogging, Successes and Failures, Collaboration, Tom Sawyer, Vegetarians, and the Omnipresence of Death.

Interviewer: So, Rob let's start with you. You've been going three months at Fish Obits. Where do you generate your best ideas?

Rob: Well, as you know, we don't divulge sources.

Margaret: What do mean "best" ideas?

Interviewer: Ok, where do you get "your ideas"? "Any" of them?

Margaret: We have tons of ideas, pretty much constantly.

Robin: We don't really "get" ideas. Read More 
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East Meets West / Inter-Species Dialogue #1

International Art

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The first in a series of Improvisational-Epistolary-Inter-Species Dialogues with Fabulously-Talented Guest Bloggers Claire Burdett, Susan Tacent, (cameo by Cliff Johns) -- concerning Unwanted Roadtrips, Car Sickness, Budding Friendship, Blind Prejudice, Blind Forgiveness, Back-Room Deals and Movie Stardom.

Pearl
You don't know me but I'm friends with Robin. Maddy and I are really excited about road trip next spring! We talked with Claire and she won't/can't commit to part of the ride. But she said that we could offer you a floor, and Robin a bed and a shower, and fresh produce, and maybe we can figure out some readings on the west coast. She's a dumbhead for not joining in on the trip, but then you know her! Come west and Maddy and I will show you the ropes out here.
Woody Burdett
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Brush With Death #1

Tiger in Cast

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In the First in a series on Near Death Experiences, Guest Blogger Debbie McLean explores the relationship between Cruelty to Animals, Bureaucratic Follow Up, Vet Bills, and the Persistent Desire to Roam Free

While we are on the subject of animal welfare, I thought I would give an update on Tiger (AKA “Tigie- Baby”), our cat that was shot multiple times by a pellet gun earlier this summer by some low-life scumbag in the neighborhood. Two of the bullets broke his leg. Two other bullets hit his back and chest. We discovered him injured one night while Marshall was cramming to finish his 12-page historical biography on Uncle Al, due the next morning and in need for substantial editing. It was not a good time for a pet emergency.  Read More 
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