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FISH OBITUARIES:an anti-bloggers's blog

Groundhog ReDUX

Red Patent Leather Penny Loafer

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The latest in a series of inventive dialogues between Fish Obit Editors Cousin Rob, as well as Margaret, and Robin, concerning Complaints, Ambiguity, Editorial Disagreement, Crowd-Sourcing, Migrational Topics and Weekend Sales.

Rob: So we've gotten some pretty grumpy calls about the groundhog story. People don't get what happened with the poem.

Margaret: Bummer, but oh well, hey, this is Art.

Robin: I never should have gone to the bathroom.

Margaret: We could do Groundhog ReDux, the alternative ending.

Rob: Crowd-sourced endings are a slippery slope.

Robin: We have The Guppies all cued up.

Rob: Redundant.

Robin: We really need to paint this office.

Margaret: Agreed.

Rob: I've seen way worse, really. I like the color.

Margaret: I can't see any color.

Rob: Look right there, behind the radiator.

Robin: But don't we deserve a fresher look?

Margaret: It wouldn't kill us to jazz it up.

Rob: I AM exhausted after 10 posts. A little paint? New carpet?

Margaret: And we did get the furniture at the dump.

Rob: I love this couch. No one's touching it.

Robin: And we're going to be Big Time bloggers. No one will miss us if we miss one post.

Margaret: Isn't this is Tax-free weekend in Massachusetts?

Rob: Come on. Let's go.


List

I deserve those red patent leather penny loafers with the nautical buckles
I deserve white pepper instead of black
I deserve chrome hubs
I deserve Jude Law
I deserve to wear size 8
I deserve 4 bedrooms and 3.5 baths
I deserve a garage door opener and new trashcans with matching lids
I deserve big juicy lips
I deserve a speedboat
I deserve an A
I deserve dessert
I deserve a crown and perfect children
I deserve children who deserve Ralph Lauren for Kids
I deserve a beautiful ass
I deserve organic free-range chicken cordon blue
I deserve a ranch in Montana with a brand like a horseshoe
I deserve jeans matching the brand
I deserve a raise for all I deserve
I deserve a bonus
I deserve stock options
I deserve life liberty and happiness
I deserve 40 acres and mule
I deserve a wide berth
I deserve an iceberg with my name carve on it with a dental tool
I deserve a drink
I deserve dessert every night
I deserve the 31st floor
I deserve the freight elevator from 3 to 4 pm today
I deserve a box seat
I deserve a Bud
I deserve the very best of the very best bestness
I deserve a horse named Lucky
I deserve a lucky break
I deserve a breakfast in bed
I deserve perfect feet for my penny loafers

RIP


If you would like to contribute a fish (or reptile) obituary to this blog, please comment below with the basics. Robin McLean also blogs at Mike's Maze.



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