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FISH OBITUARIES:an anti-bloggers's blog

Guy with Chainsaw in My Throat

In this lyrical and meditative epistolary/text-post from Fish Obit's youngest guest blogger, 12-year old Sophie, she explores Blame, Lost and Found Objects, Chain Saws in Unusual Places, Missing Mothers, The Bewitching Influence of Young Girls, Frustration, Grief, Annoying Sickness, Horfing as Verb, Parental Manipulations, Happiness, Lotion People, Basking in the Digital Age, Sisters, and Squirming out of School Tomorrow.

Kate lost two of my, I mean… Your brand new pencils, yeah… I’ll, or you’ll need some more, and I may or may not be done with my homework.:0 :) I really hope that your having fun, cause me, well, lets just say I’m not doing so great myself. I feel like a guy crawled down my throat and skinned it with a chainsaw! I hope I’m better by the time we go to Arizona, cause if not, my trip will kinda suck. Oh mom, I wish you were here, you would have something to say to make me feel better. If only I never got sick in the first place, I bet strep never goes away! I bet there really is a guy with a chainsaw in my throat! AAAHHHHHHHHHH! I can’t take it anymore, I should just horf up that stupid little guy! I should just give him a piece of my mind! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! That’s what I’d say if I could! AAAAAAHHHHHHHH! (cough, cough) Boy Oh Boy, that pesky little rat just won’t stop! I swear, the moment you walk through that door, I will jump on you, then I will take a nice shower. (cough) You know something, I’m sorry about this morning, and probably tomorrow morning too, because can I tell ya, even though I’m “Definitely going to school tomorrow”, I just want you to know, I feel like crap. (sneeze) I know it’s hard for you when I’m sick, and I want you to know that I love you. When and if I go to school tomorrow, I want you to be happy and at peace, therefore, I should probably go to school tomorrow without a fuss, but I cannot promise that I will feel better tomorrow, or the day after that, which I know is the real reason you are ever at peace… Katie and my happiness. I cannot promise very many things, for I am human and can’t do everything, but I can promise a lot… I can without a doubt promise that I will always love you, and I know you promise the same for me. I am sick, it hurts to talk. But I can always find the strength to tell you I love you. (maybe) (horf) :)

You said that your meeting dinner thing would be quick! I need you home faster. I don’t think I’ll be getting much sleep if this keeps up! (cough) Please come, I need my mom, I need to hear your voice, your comforting words. I’ve been trying to horf up chainsaw guy, but he wont budge, Katie and I played lotion people for a while, but then I got to studying and typing again. Please Please Please get home soon to read this and give me a hug, I need it now more than you know. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! See, mom, it hurts to even here people talk! If, I mean, when I go to school tomorrow, I’ll be horfing all day. I know that doesn’t make you feel any better, but I had to get it out of my head. The only reason I’m really typing is because I can’t talk in general, but worst of all, I can’t talk to you. Typing makes me feel like I’m talking to you. I feel like your connected to every letter I type. I know when you read this you will hug me and talk to me… if I’m awake. All I want is to decrees your stress and kill that little guy in my throat, but you are more important to me. I love you…

I really shouldn’t be typing right now, Katie and I are In bed, but I cant help it. I know that you’ll be home for me soon, I need you and you are probably having a blast at your work dinner. I will keep typing until you come, even though I may be typing for hours. It already feels like I’ve been typing forever. I’m looking forward to two things tonight, seeing you and a shower. Since you haven’t come back yet, I assume your having fun, but have you forgotten about us? Your probably frowning and asking me if I really feel that way, I don’t, I just need you here now. Be here for Katie and I. She’s crying. Oh! I here your high heels! You’re here! Now come up! Please. Here you come!

School

Not going
Definitely not
Why did we ever?
We know all we need to
Right now

RIP

To become a guest blogger yourself, write a Fish Obituary (or reptilian, mammalian, etc.) to me at robinmclean0@gmail.com or comment below.


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