FISH OBITUARIES:an anti-bloggers's blog

LOST AND FOUND OBJECTS: LAKE STORY #1

January 27, 2015

In this collaborative post, a story told by Mac before the funeral of his beloved and only sister, Anne, described to and recorded by Fish Obit's editors, Concerning Searching, Blue Berry Bushes, Mean Old Ladies, Fear and Finding, the Enchanting Powers of Young Girls, Enticing Brooks, Enticing Shores, Enticing Water.

Anne was lost once before.

When Anne was 5 or 6 she went missing at the lake. It was just a regular day out there and Anne went missing. Pretty young. No one could find her. We were really panicked. The Hopkins were there. Mum was there. Dad was not. He was in (more…)

BOOK CHAT #1 /GENIUS IN TEXAS

January 22, 2015

The First in a Series of Book Chats, and in the Spirit of Fish Obits' unquenchable desire to have other people do our work, a post by new and fabulous novelist and genius guest blogger Lori Reisenbichler, which first appeared on Girlfriends Bookclub, Concerning First Books, Comradeship, Large US States (but not the Biggest), Anxiety, Diversity, Anxiety, Goals and Dreams, Anxiety, Mysteries of Motivation, Shoes, Backbones and Anxiety.

CELEBRATE: DON'T FORGET THAT PART

I’m just about to launch my first novel and I have no idea what I’m doing.

There is no shortage of online advice for the debut author, but the more I read, the more confused I get. A few months ago, I realized I needed to find a good reliable sounding board. I wanted the perspective of other writers going through the same process at the same time instead of someone who wanted to sell me something. I found what I was looking for when I participated in the Launch Lab, a program offered by Grub Street, a literary center in Boston. I live in Texas, (more…)

BOTCHED BOSNIAN DOG DROP: TORONTO

January 19, 2015

DOG LOTTERY MEGA-WINNER
Given that all Dog Drops are exhausting, this Post has taken some time to produce, but Concerns Lost and Found Objects, Unnecessary Appendages, International Adoptions, Missed Flights, Effective Letter Writing, Small Dogs, Junior Hockey, Bad Dogs, Strange Basements, Lucky Dogs, Wasted Fossil Fuel, Caffeine, Cruise Control and Home Sweet Home.

Bosnian Bob

In Sarajevo he lay in the street for three days before rescue. They could not sew his tail back on. He missed his first flight from Germany when the delivery van got the departure time wrong. He chewed up an orthodontic retainer back at the Frankfurt foster's. He made his flight from Berlin the second time. (more…)

Guy with Chainsaw in My Throat

January 7, 2015

In this lyrical and meditative epistolary/text-post from Fish Obit's youngest guest blogger, 12-year old Sophie, she explores Blame, Lost and Found Objects, Chain Saws in Unusual Places, Missing Mothers, The Bewitching Influence of Young Girls, Frustration, Grief, Annoying Sickness, Horfing as Verb, Parental Manipulations, Happiness, Lotion People, Basking in the Digital Age, Sisters, and Squirming out of School Tomorrow.

Kate lost two of my, I mean… Your brand new pencils, yeah… I’ll, or you’ll need some more, and I may or may not be done with my homework.:0 :) I really hope that your having fun, cause me, well, lets just say I’m not doing so great myself. I feel like a guy crawled down my throat and skinned it with a chainsaw! I hope I’m better by the time we go to Arizona, cause if not, my trip will kinda suck. Oh mom, I wish you were here, you would have something to say to make me feel better. If only I never got sick in the first place, I bet strep never goes away! I bet there really is a guy with a chainsaw in my throat! AAAHHHHHHHHHH! I can’t take it anymore, I should just horf up that stupid little guy! I should just give him a piece of my mind! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! That’s what I’d say if I could! AAAAAAHHHHHHHH! (cough, cough) Boy Oh Boy, that pesky little rat just won’t stop! I swear, the moment you walk through that door, I will jump on you, then I will take a nice shower. (cough) You know something, I’m sorry about this morning, and probably tomorrow morning too, because can I tell ya, even though I’m “Definitely going to school tomorrow”, (more…)

Unusual Salt Licks and Other Midnight Pests

January 3, 2015

A long lost post from guest blogger Margaret in Fairbanks concerning Unsolved Mysteries, Vehicular Hanky-Panky, Solved Mysteries, Salt as a Life Necessity, the Communion of Friendship, Bears as Pests, Enormous Bird Poop, and Paranoia.

What is it about my car?

So, as you may recall, I work at the North Pole Branch Library which is about 20 miles from my home. As such, my car has a nice uniformly splattered road-grime appearance. Well, on Friday night, I got home at about 8:15PM. It was dark, but I'm pretty sure my car was in its normal state of griminess. The next morning when I was running late for a meeting, I got to my car (it lives about 200 yards away through the woods from my home) and wondered, "What the $%*! happened to my car?" In my paranoid way, I wondered, "Why would someone have done this to my car?" The road-grime had been smeared around all over the car. (more…)

WHEN WRITING ON PAPER GETS BORING...

January 1, 2015

Story Vessel/Stonewear 21"/Teadust Glaze/Cone 10/gas
...write on clay.

HAPPY 2015!



New Years Eve in Wisconsin

Fromage Nation:
Birds perch over and feast on roads
Rabbits, Groundhogs, smaller Birds.
Hair is long
men, women, sheep.
Cellphones die.
Fires are lit from the top logs.

In The Driftless
children named
Arrow and Lichen
Sylvan and Sam,
Funeral directors out
of work due to new
waves of at-home practitioners.

Right to die.
Right to cold.
Right to bright sun.

Cows prevail.
Banjos banned
as too hard on young ears.
Potatoes are purple as are hills (more…)